Meet your Essence

The individuals who visit me are looking for more lightness and new perspectives on their job. I combine my experience as an entrepreneur with the ability to look deeper. «Creating from Seeing» is the guiding theme of my work. What does that mean for you as my coachee?

I want new doors to open in every session, for things to show that were hidden in the dark. This mutual journey dances between two levels:

Horizontal: Acting
Practical questions can be tackled directly: how do I prepare for a team discussion, how do I react to criticism, how do I pitch my ideas? «I want to become independent and I need to present myself» leads to the discussion of requirements and possible solutions.

Actions on the horizontal plane are a question of priorities and time management. Here I draw from my experiences as an entrepreneur, author, artist, private individual.

Vertical: Looking deeper
Doors open in the depths. They let us realise patterns and let them go. Trust and humbleness are necessary for this. Trusting that something essential will happen – and happens – even without us having to «do» it. And humbleness, because we are not in control anymore. It is in these depths that I journey with you as a companion – through my «Seeing».

I work with spiritual practices, trauma integration, systemic work – among others: Systemic Ritual® with Daan van Kampenhout, Trauma Integration and Systemic Work with Johannes B. Schmidt, Learning Love with Krish und Amana Trobe, Money and Source Work in the Master Class with Peter König.

Stumbling included
«Creating from Seeing» is a vision that guides me. As a coach, artist and continuously learning individual, I keep following this vision to the bottom. This is where I regularly practice trust and humbleness. Stumbling is an invitation to connect with our essence. Where easiness and clarity about the next step are waiting for us.

Intuition: from guts to strategy

Gut feeling or business plan? The essence is where the «or» becomes an «and», where intuition and intellect merge.

Pablo Picasso holds a distinct plea towards intuition: «I do not seek, I find.». No more seeking, only finding – what a relief. And what a struggle it would be to become like Picasso…

These three elements make your finding easier:

The first step: become aware of your judging

It requires all aspects of our personality to bring our calling into the world. The greatest power arises when we say «Yes» to everything that we hate or love in ourselves.

We strive towards everything that makes us bigger, more radiant, lighter. We refuse everything that seems negative, dangerous or heavy to us. We judge others every minute. And each of these judgments is a mirror of what we want or refuse in ourselves.

Second step: yes to being as you are.

These judgments are acutely human. Taking a step towards being conscious does not lead to refusal, though. Acceptance of the inner gap between «this is how I want to be» and «this is what I despise» awaits one step below at the next level of depth.

When we appreciate both sides in us, a portal may open. And from this place, we observe our thoughts. The more love we put into it, the freer our seeking, finding and acting becomes.

Third step: yes to Source.

Every tiny little pinch of self-acceptance enhances the inner connection. And this inner harmony makes us calmer. Now we can listen more carefully to what the universe has to tell us. Now we can perk up our ears with a focussed inner attitude that is open even to the tiniest of signals.

Ideas, images, solutions come to us within milliseconds and stay. At first, we may not have confidence in those inspirations. But we all have access to Source. «Have» is the wrong word. «Be» fits much better: we are at the Source. We cannot buy ourselves into the access, secure it, hold it. It is given to us when we dare.

Acting in Harmony

The quantum physicist Hans-Peter Dürr describes our «encompassing me» as a drop in the ocean. If we want to manifest anything in our physical world, this «greater me» shrinks down into the ego and rises above the sea as an individual drop. «…there, I stand in front of others as an individual and become capable of acting.» (translated quote from the book Geist, Kosmos und Physik, p. 126, Google Books).

The inner connection with ourselves and the connection beyond ourselves enhances the access to our intuition. When an action arises from this connection, it is in harmony with the ocean’s waves, and thus its manifestation will have its greatest effect. And because our small me is unique, we all read the waves in vastly different ways.

The best of ways are playful – just like Picasso. When a journalist asked him, why he had changed from the «Blue» to the «Rose period», he replied: «When I don’t have blue, I simply take red.» (Victoria Charles, Picasso, page 5, Google Books)

I deepened my understanding of this path at the International Intuition Summit Basel. The handout may serve as an inspiration:

Zurich, February 2017
Photo: Jan Bernet

Where Nature Cares For Us

Recently I went up into the mountains to Alp Grüm, located between St. Moritz and Poschiavo in the Swiss Alps. I returned with a blister on my left heel, the experience of Tao and a greater range of understanding for a wiser use of my smartphone.

The blister will heal soon. It is a tender signal of my body’s nature, which also is behind these words.

Nature and water: practical Tao

On the hiking trail to the Palü Glacier I got closer to intuitive understanding. I remembered Alan Watts saying: «When you try to catch flowing water with a bucket this shows that you will always be disappointed, as you don’t understand that the water does not flow in the bucket.» This image brought me somewhat closer to Lao Dsi’s wisdom in the Dao De Jing.

The waterfalls by the glacier lake made these words come alive. Just as ten seconds of this movie may bring you closer to your own experience of the river of life.

Playing with the smartphone

The path up into the mountains removed me from all digital devices. I used my paper notebook instead of my iPad for my diary. I kept my iPhone shut off, even though I would have liked to look at the weather forecast. Or the public transport schedule. But as soon as I turn this little thing on again, it bleeps and blinks with quick newsflashes, short messages, missed calls, the number of new e-mails or the temptation of social media. Or worse: what if nobody has been missing me?

This short period of abstinence clearly showed me how fixated I am on messages and my tendency to browse through information. On my way back I rearranged my home screen. It now only shows the agenda, phone, public transport timetable and the weather app. News and social media apps are now no longer allowed to post messages on my locked screen. The little red number showing how many incoming mails I got as well as other push messages I receive from apps are now blocked.

This means that I need to actively get the mail «down at the mailbox». And I do like the new sense of tranquillity. As a side effect, I have learned something about my little addictions. Until the next readjustment becomes necessary.

Self-improvement comes naturally

Am I a better person now? Might these words help their readers to improve themselves? No. Alan Watts’ books inspire me greatly, including the following insight: «…it could be that, if you are liberated from your delusion to improve everything immediately, your own nature begins to take care of itself.»

To our own nature. Until the next blister arrives.

 

August 2015 / Photos Marcel Bernet

Be As You Are: The Coaching Paradox

People come to see me as a coach because they want to get somewhere. Away from an uncomfortable situation, or somewhere closer towards an idea of happiness. Where do I want to take them in this interaction? 

To stay here. That is my invitation.

In his book «A New Earth», Eckhart Tolle describes a woman who comes to see him after a long phase of sleepless nights. She feels worn out and at the end of her tether. He lets her speak for a long time, listens carefully, without judgement or intervention. Afterwards, the woman sleeps for the first time in months, even though he did not «do» anything.

A part of us is focused only on form. On what we achieve, on what others do for us, on how big this is, how much that costs. And that’s good. We are, however, so focussed on this form that we miss the space in-between. That is the point.

Same with me. I want to be a good coach. When I get fixed on a goal and identify myself with my role, I make myself a prisoner of this form. This is «easier» for my ego. It can rely on forms that way. Graspable tools, like methods, concepts and solutions.

Tolle promotes the step from the form into the space of this present moment: «The joy of being, the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, nor through possessions, performance, people or events.» We all have experienced this already. So we know how difficult it is.

But wait: when we make it «difficult», we fall back into the trap of achievement. The ego follows the motto: «If only I work hard on myself, I will achieve being in this present moment.» Or as Tolle puts it, «the ego does not know anything about being, but it believes that you will one day be released through your doing.»

We are not our ego. The ego simply belongs to us. Acknowledgement and acceptance open the gate to the formless realm of consciousness.

The person within me who wants to be a good coach surrenders to being observed. I observe him, welcoming him and his ideas. Then I open myself up for a true encounter in the Now, with my vis-à-vis. I invite resources which go beyond our form. They are available to us, anytime, anywhere, accessible by the bridge of consciousness.

This is therefore the invitation of my coaching. To allow the being-as-it-is. Change stems and grows from that, and becomes visible in the present Now.

Clarity at the Source: What’s Next?

Throughout our lives we are confronted with the question: who am I? Whoever listens carefully to the Source within could discover a new lightness.

A statement by Nietzsche has inspired and at the same time confused me for years: «There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!»

Clarity, now!

The truth in these words has touched me. It was contradictory to my ongoing questions where do I go? What’s next?

It seems to be a central human trait, this impatient «ahead!». Fuelled from inside and out. Parents, teachers, partners, society’s requirements tell us who we are. They mould us through acceptance and rejection.

Mostly in the mist

Today I know: the path leads inwards, towards that connection with my Source. Where the water wells up. From here we set foot on our own, individual path. Still poking around in the mist, asking: what’s next?

We are the only ones with this specific connection to our Source. Clarity lies within and we get there by inner access or exchange with others: «All real life is meeting», says Martin Buber. External answers to our questions, doubts and ideas lay down stepping stones towards our own inner clarity.

Three steps towards yourself

Your path to clarity could be guided by these points of navigation:

1. Enjoy the questions and the mist
   The following would have helped me to be less confused about Nietzsche’s statement: more patience with myself, my seeking and my insecurity. Now, I am sometimes even able to enjoy the insecurities of a transition. To feel joy in experiencing something coming my way, even though I cannot guess its nature. What helped me was Peter König’s insight that a Source is poking around in the mist for eighty percent of the time. Creating clarity is one of any Source’s most important tasks.
2. Seek for exchange
   When the feeling gets really unbearable, insecure, dark – those are the moments, in which I want to talk least to anyone. I have learned, though, to dare to do it anyway. Accepting my own insecurity, I can express myself without fear. When my vis-à-vis is open, can keep something in confidence, does not judge or give advice. My clarity often grows as I am formulating my questions – instead of letting them turning rounds in my head, causing sleepless nights.
3. Having confidence in the Source
   Everybody has experienced these moments in which clarity appears. And we cannot say where it comes from. It is just there.

My connection to the Source is supported by being in nature, in community, by love, music, stillness, and by everything I do with my hands. This is when I get touched by my own melody. The Source hums it and leaves me, benevolently, with the choice.

Ready for take off

What is your resonance, what do you want to experiment with? Be as you are and trust yourself. Cast off!

Rainer Maria Rilke‘s poem «On patience» is encouraging and ends with the following words: «It is about living everything. When you live the questions, you may possibly, without even being conscious of it, live your path into the answers on one foreign day.» (Goodreads.com)

Picture by Marcel Bernet, Mythenquai Lake Zurich

The Source Principle

Organisations are an interplay of people. Positive dynamics emerge if everyone is connected to their inner Source and entirely claims their field. Looking with this clarity behind the boxes of an organisational chart will make it much more joyful to lead or to be led.

All which is alive consistently defies categorisation. Happiness, love, and success can never be captured through words or deeds. It is with this essential attitude that I approach this systemic view on organisation, leadership and collaboration developed by Peter König. Life is not about concepts but all about what works for you to bring more ease to your everyday experience.

Source: the beginning of everything

Those who start an organisation or a relationship are the Source of that system. They overlook the whole area, receive all the relevant information for its design and know the next step. Yes, there is only one Source. This does not mean that it is omniscient and omnipotent. It gets the required clarity only through exchange with helpers and other sub-sources in its field. With their support, the Source attains its set goals.

The idea of one single Source provokes two contradicting projections: sources can be emphasised or marginalised.

Emphasising results in a lone puppet master at the top of a pyramid. Maybe some leaders even see themselves in this position – and all the others watch the master squirm on his throne of hot coals.

The Source Principle is marginalised when everyone stands in a circle and claims to have the same access to fundamental information. «Bosses unwanted» – yet still, all orient themselves towards a leading figure – who often prefers to be hidden too, maybe using a hip but unclear job title on the business card.

These polarities interlink where Source and sub-source are understood as servants of their respective fields. The primary Source is nothing on its own – it depends on sub-sources who rely on overall orientation and directions. They, in turn, grant to the further level of sub-sources they depend on.

In this context, to lead is to serve with clarity.

The tasks of Source and sub-source

Source and sub-source carry the same responsibility – in their respective field. They receive information relevant only to their own territory. Connected to their source power, they set the direction, create clarity, grant and take space.

As a carrier of the whole field, Source is responsible for

• the alignment with its original need and vision
• deciding on the next steps for the entire field
• deciding on the  expansion or reduction of this field
• the choice of sub-sources that are directly connected with it
• delegating the responsibility for the according to source fields

The sub-source accounts for

• the alignment of its respective area with the primary Source’s needs and vision
• the decision on the next steps within this area
• impulses regarding changes in this field
• the choice of further sub-sources therein
• delegating the full responsibility for the assigned sub-spaces

A sub-source can only change its field in agreement with the Source positioned one level above: the latter knows how reduction or expansion affects the whole system and what changes this will bring.

Sub-source before primary Source

The Source Principlisas a dynamic hierarchy, as its delegation is total. In its assigned space, the sub-source stands above the primary Source. On a practical level,l this means that the Corporate Communications Officer stands above the CEO in all her decisions. The reason is that only she has all the information necessary for her decision on the next step. Source and sub-source are in a constant dynamic exchange to clarify the decisions to be taken within the assigned spaces.

The Source Principle hence demands fully empowered sub-sources – which entails that primary sources refrain from stepping back into delegated spaces. The great benefits, however, include getting rid of extra micromanagement, constant safety checks and unnecessary constraints in synchronising processes.

Clarity in business formation and succession

Are you a project’s Source? If you are in that power, the «Yes» comes immediately. Difficulties arise when several people start a project together. Or when the primary Source never really handed on its function.

When starting a business in a group, the conscious focus on a primary source may be lacking – and everybody will pretend that it is always the team which defines the next step. It i,s however,r clear to everyone who receives the essential informatio, and who is the actual top dog.

Successions work out when the power of Source is passed on. This requires the predecessors to let go, not just formally through a sale or exit. They must free their source access for their successors. The successors are then responsible for fully taking over power and responsibility. It is not unusual for both sides to be comfortable with «half a succession», one side hanging on to some source of power, the other shying away from full accountability.

Give and take total space

The challenge I often face as a coach and counsellor is stepping into one’s full power as a source or sub-source. This has to do with the inner attitudes of all people in the system.

Collaboration is successful when all sources claim and get their respective spaces.

It is often the case that source space is not fully given nor claimed. In this reality, nobody wants to lead or to be led, yet everybody feels dissatisfaction. It is easier to escape than to create and withstand clarity.

The beauty is that self-healing is inescapable. Frictions, difficulties and failures lead to the integration of new skills. We never quite finish learning.

Five questions to you as a source

We are all Sources and sub-sources in many areas of our lives where we design projects, games, and interactions. Take something that currently burdens you. An area in which you have trouble orientating yourself. Focus on this project for a moment. Then, go through the following five questions. Answer them instinctively and swiftly. You can use your smartphone to record your answers as you let them emerge spontaneously. You may be astonished about yourself when you listen to them.

1. Name a project in/of which you are the primary or sub-source.
2. Name three aspects of this project that you are clear about.
3. Name one aspect that is difficult for you.
4. What would support your success?
5. What could be your next elegant step?

Echo and learnings welcome. (mail@marcelbernet.ch)

© Graphics, image Marcel Bernet, Lake at Palu Glacier